saved by love: confessions of a competitive spirit

Monday, April 5, 2010

confessions of a competitive spirit

I had thought that doing things for myself was for my benefit. . .
So I did it all for myself... everything for myself...
No more of you... well, unless I needed you.

And I thought I was happy. because it made sense. And I was.

But I don't think I really knew what happiness was... until I saw you again.
Until I remembered the world above my own... until I gazed heavenward.
Until I remembered that the focus is not ME...

I remembered again the joy, the sheer overflowing of the heart in wonder and praise
something was right again.
peace like a river.

By setting down myself, I had in fact gained an insight into my TRUE SELF.
A spirit dancing with YOU. A laughing child at your feet.

You are the EVERLASTING GOD. And I raise my hands in joy!
All creation praises your name! The trees, the earth, the stars, the nations!
You are Sovereign Lord! And I worship you just because of that! And that alone is sufficient! That you are worthy of praise.

And great are your mercies Lord.
Your love is AMAZING.
You hold me... even though I'm covered in dirt, in filth, in sickness.
The depth of your love... your FAITHFULNESS Lord I cannot imagine, cannot understand.
Jesus you are the holy shepherd. the humble king.
through it all... through it all...

I committed the crime. You were taken to die.

amazing grace
how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me
I once was lost
but now am found
was blind but now I see

The LORD your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with his love,
He will rejoice over you with
singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

2 comments:

CatApril 6, 2010 at 2:09 AM
HI TERESA!
You need to update more!! How else will I know how you're doing!!!!!???
and I know. those poor kitties :(
AHAH did you know I recently turned vegetarian? :>
No one supports my decision though :( but it's so sad because nobody understands that we eat cows just like how some eat cats!
it's the same thing and I'm mad at China for the cat thing when the average american eats like a trillion cows a year!! :(
anyway...
UPDATE IT!!!
and when are you coming back down to cali?!
well I guess Socal O_o
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CatApril 10, 2010 at 1:19 AM
TERESA!!!
update your life more?!?! please!!
anyway...
TURN VEGETARIAN, TERESA!!! You have no idea how happy it makes me when I pass up a gogi-meal! Like I was waiting for my mom to come home last sunday and I wa slike STAHVING! But for dinner she made curry with GOGI IN IT!!! So I couldn't eat it because the poor cow was inside the curry and it's meatiness got into the curry so I passed it up and didn't eat it! And also this morning, my friends barged in and they were all planning on going to a gogi buffet!! You know I USED to like those! They were going to eat samgyubsal!! You remember when I used to LOVE samgyubsal right? I PASSED IT UP and stayed home! I'm so happy about my vegetarian-ism :)
But the problem is I can't find any diets that don't contain any meat!
And I still eat fish. So technically I'm a pescitarian. I'm trying to give up seafood too but I'm going kind of gradually with it :)
ANNNYYYYYWAYYY...
YOU SHOULD UPDATE ME ON YOUR LIFE MORE!!!
heheheh, well
byebye!
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fav words

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

-the little prince

"Our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you"
St. Augustine

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred let me sow love;
...Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
Lord, may I not so much seek
To be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.
Because it is in giving that we receive, in pardoning that we are pardoned."
prayer of St. Francis

“I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands…” Isaiah 49:16.

"항상 주님이 네 옆에 있는 사실을 잊지 말아라."
Don't forget the truth that God is always with you

"He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy, when all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, when I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me"
davidcrowderband

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved."
Ephesians 2:4

Matthew 6:19-21 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight. proverb 3:5

Psalm 34:8 "O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusts in him."

" The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad;
let the distant shores rejoice.

Clouds and thick darkness surround him;
righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.

Fire goes before him
and consumes his foes on every side.

His lightning lights up the world;
the earth sees and trembles.

The mountains melt like wax before the LORD,
before the Lord of all the earth.

The heavens proclaim his righteousness,
and all the peoples see his glory.

All who worship images are put to shame,
those who boast in idols—
worship him, all you gods!

Zion hears and rejoices
and the villages of Judah are glad
because of your judgments, O LORD.

For you, O LORD, are the Most High over all the earth;
you are exalted far above all gods.

Let those who love the LORD hate evil,
for he guards the lives of his faithful ones
and delivers them from the hand of the wicked.

Light is shed upon the righteous
and joy on the upright in heart.

Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous,
and praise his holy name."
Psalms 97

"Do not let your hearts be troubled.
Trust in God, trust also in me."
John 14:1

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
C.S. Lewis

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope - the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. Titus 2:11-14